The day has finally arrived – almost. On Monday morning my youngest, my four-year-old daughter Matilda, will begin kindergarten. It will mark the commencement of the second stage of parenthood for hubby and me, when we hand our progeny over to The System. We will finally have some regular time separate from our kids. I’m happy. Mostly. The day brings a twinge of sadness for the things that will no longer be part of our lives. Things like…
1. Coffee shop excursions: For the past year, every Wednesday morning after dropping the boys off at school Matilda and I have joined my girlfriends and their four-year-old children for coffee at our local coffeehouse, Bowerbird Cafe (which serves fantastic coffee and has an awesome kids room). She looks forward to it from the moment we start our day. For Matilda is a social butterfly who loves to go places and see people. She loves the time away from the boys, she loves playing with her friends.
2. Help in the kitchen: I usually use the time when the boys are in school to get some baking done for their lunchboxes. I make biscuits, meusli slice, muffins, that sort of thing. And Matilda is a keen and willing helper. She loves helping stir batter, or tip in the ingredients and I like feeling as though I’m contributing to her culinary skills and education. Now, it’s true I can still do these things on a Thursday or Friday, and have her helping me (kindy is Mon, Tues and every second Wednesday) but Thursdays and Fridays are busy days for me and it’s unlikely I’ll have time to switch all of our mother-daughter activities to days when we’re both available. So this may be one that is lost.
3. Mothers Group playdates: Many of our mothers group catch-ups have lately been while the older boys are at school. It has been Matilda and me with my girlfriends and their little ones. And it’s been fun. But from now on it may be easier for us mums to catch up without the kids. Certainly we’ll do the occasional catch-up with all the kids, but quiet coffees during the day are quicker and easier.
4. General running errands with my gal pal: For the past six months, since her language and comprehension has really developed in leaps and bounds, Matilda has been my little shadow. We go everywhere together and she’s a delight to have chattering away in the backseat as we dash about town doing errands. That will certainly be curtailed significantly now as I have only the radio to keep me company on car trips.
5.Play School Pals: Part of our school day routine includes me putting on a taped episode of Play School for her when we get home from drop-off. She will sit down in front of the telly or at the table with a glass of milk while I potter around tidying up. It’s not quality one-on-one time, but it’s a nice mellow part of our day, away from the frantic dash to get out the door and to school on time.
6. Holding hands: The other day we were at the grocery store and I was walking along with her trotting beside me. Unbidden, her hand folded into mine and we just held hands while we walked along. It was a nice moment and I confess, I got a little choked up when I realised these moments are numbered and will soon be in short supply.
7. Storytime: Sometimes, not as often as I should, for no reason at all I’ll offer to read her a story. Thrilled, Matilda dashes off to the impressive library of storybooks in her room and come back with three or four. “No, just one,” I’ll say. “Sure,” she’ll respond, knowing I’ll end up reading all three. Then she’ll climb into my lap, make herself very comfy as she snuggles into my arms, and wait for the magic that is mummy reading a story. As my last child heads off to that great institution we call the Education System, I’m sad to realise these moments are becoming more and more rare.
8. “Look, Mummy! Watch me!”: Matilda is a natural superstar and probably destined for the stage. Much of our day is punctuated by her demanding an audience for a new dance routine she has created. Sometimes that routine is called: The Falling Down Dance (only on days when the floor has that crazy tilt to it) and other days it’s called: Fairies and Butterflies Come Thundering Across The Hardwood Floors. Whatever the dance, I know that soon my opinion will matter little to her and that day is coming fast.
9. Milo time! Matilda’s favourite treat is a Milo. I usually let her have one when I’m emptying the dishwasher because she’s sitting at the table where I can keep an eye on her. If I don’t watch her, she’ll carry her Milo to the computer and probably knock the milk all over the computer. Or the DVD player. Or something electrical and vital to family life and my sanity.
10. Matilda: When all is said and done I’m going to be seeing less and less of my baby girl. And she’s often funny, sometimes maddening, occasionally spoiled, but always, always loving. She loves giving and receiving hugs. She loves asking questions and learning about the world. She’s caring, gentle and kind-hearted and I’m going to miss her.
Oh Felicity… did you have to write that, pretty well summed up most of my favourite times with Harry! Have been trying not to think about it!
I know! I’m trying to focus on all the things she’ll love – making new friends, learning new things that I can’t teach her, all the fun she’ll have doing stuff I never let her do – craft! Matilda is sooooo ready for kindy and I’m excited for her. Mostly.
Harry is so ready for Prep! He’ll have a ball! It’s part of motherhood, learning to let them go. I think!
Felicity, I hear ya.
My youngest starts Kindy and my eldest starts Prep next week. I will miss all the little cuddles and random moments of unexpected joy that come from having them around so much. I am not normally one to cry but I think this weeks first day’s I will need a few Kleenex handy.
It’s amazing how quickly it comes around, isn’t it? It just seems like all of a sudden my baby is off to kindy! *sniff*
I’m more excited than sad about J5 starting school – all the gardening & sewing I’ll get done! – I hope.
But I have been letting him fall asleep in our bed & just watching his sleeping face, and thinking about all that time I didn’t stop to play, or teach him to sew (well, we did a bit), or work harder on his alphabet or….. And all the times I found a way to get help with keeping him entertained – we rarely stayed at home, just us.
Still – he is very ready for school, and is going to have an absolute ball! And I’m looking forward to being involved – that is easier for me than unstructured play.
I completely understand your point, Rachel. I think there’s a fair bit of my own feelings reflected in what you say. I’m looking forward to the free time that I’ll have, the uninterrupted time to get housework done, catch up on projects around the house. And I’m very excited for a child who is more than ready to engage with the wider world, to finally see her making her own way, a tiny bit independently of me.
I hope everyone’s “first day” goes well!